9:18/9:03/8:57/8:44/8:17 Ok I'm calmer about the school thing today. But that's probably because I only had 5 miles to run this morning, and was able to fit it in between when the last kid was out the door, and when I had to be to work by 9:00. It's anything longer than 5 that is hard because I either have to get up at 5:00 am and run in the dark, or be late for work, or run at lunch in the heat. I guess it's always like this the month before a marathon/when I'm aiming for 40-50 mile weeks. Yesterday, everyone had a great first day of school and then...my daughter handed me her game schedule. Games all over the freeking state for the next 3 months every Friday and Saturday. Not to mention Jr. Jazz from October-March for my son starting in October. I keep reminding myself that this is the great benefit to living in Utah-- lots of kids, organized sports, good schools, decent, amazing people, caring & involved neighbors. I guess a big part of me craves solitary isolation and neglect of my childhood. We had no choices and we were bored out of our minds most days, which made doing chores the best enterainment around. I survived, and just look at me now! I'm 100% (ok, at least 85%) functional in society. So I'm always torn between gratitude for the opportunities Utah affords my children and my desire to run away from here. I was really meant for farm living. Single minded hard work every day that does not allow for thinking or wallowing, and the children must work just as hard as the Mom. That way of life makes good kids, but hardly anyone lives that way anymore. Why can't I just be grateful and calm like everybody else? That would help. I'm freaking a little. Can you tell I'm freaking? Sorry. | 