Patience; the new endurance sport.

8:41 Average :  9:13/8:55/7:53/9:36/8:11/9:48/8:10/9:40. It was a much clearer day than yesterday (all that brown air in the upper atmosphere from the fire eminded me of my summers in Riverside CA--terrible air quality in the late 1970's before 'smog and emissions' testing on vehicles).  I caught a quick gimpse of the lake, and it was pretty & still.  But today I paid my running more attention than anything else.  I was fairly alone on the trail and just really let myself go--not caring who would hear my heavy breathing or see my agonized facial expressions.  It was a real effort for me! I warmed up and then began running every other 1/16 with a little clip. Then I ran as fast as I could bear for a whole mile (they are long when you really try hard). Then I let myself slow it down, then I ran another fast mile, another slow mile and then got back on the trail where those triangles mark every 1/16th and ran home speeding up just slightly at every other triangle.  I have to say something really weird about when I try to run fast. Anytime I push myself  between a 7:37 and 8:11 m/m I feel the need to roll my eyes backwards and I feel like I'm about to fall asleep.  It's not painful, and I don't feel like I'm passing out, I feel like I'm falling asleep.  How weird is that?

I finally put a $140,000, 25 page grant to rest yesterday by 5:00.  I feel much better having met the deadline (a few hours early even).  I'll feel even better if I get the grant.  Today I let myself meander along the trail feeling the coolness in the air at who-knows-how-fast because my Garmin was out of juice this morning (as was I).  I noted how much both the daylight and the air have changed this week.  It's not that end of summer air that lies upon the atmosphere like a cool sheet, it's the kind of brisk air that comes up from cooling ground and trees.  I do love changes that come in September and October.  They are my favorite months. But the cool air made me really hungry! I swear by seasonal eating. I can promise you that as soon as it starts gets cool I crave potatoes, bread, and all things carbohydrate.  So when I got back, I ate 2 scrambled eggs inside a warmed whole wheat pita, with avacado slices and black bean salsa.  I may be a so-so runner, but man I am so good at eating.  

Ran 5 with Marsha, the mother of one of my daughter's soccer teammates.  She's older than me by 4 years, and looks better by far--really strong, lean, and atheletic.  I assumed she was a life long athelete based on that fact, also because of what a great soccer player her daugher is (I was assuming genetics played a role).  Also, she's training forRagnar in Las Vegas in October.  So I met her at 6:00 and we chatted while we ran along the road.  But toward the end she got sort of pooped out, but kept on truckin' to the very end.  When we were done, she asked "how far did we go?"  I looked at my Garmin and told her we'd gone just 5 miles.  Her eyes got really big and she said "I've never run more than 3 in my life!" Oops. Well Marsha, you have now.  Our average pace was 9:17, it was a great run.  When we talked about running her concern was how FAST I ran, which I assured her was not very fast.  But we never really clarified how FAR.  I hope I didn't scare her, it's hard to find a good a.m.-in-the-dark-consistant running friends. Came home, got the kids off to school, and ran another 2 miles as fast as I could (which didn't feel very fast, I feel tired).  I just keep thinking about the 3 day weekend ahead.  I so need a break.

I had such a great little run today.  It was so cool and clear, not a lot of people on the trail and I was happy thinking of all the things I get to do this three-day weekend and how I get to wear my new red patent leather flats that I love so much.  Anyway......  I warmed up one mile and then ran fast every other quarter mile--so cheerful and full of energy (who loves 4 miles?!). I only have 14 to run tommorrow so I figure it would be ok to throw in a little speed down the trail. Last Saturday I was a such a mess.  I still can not get over how badly that run went (so much emotional and physical exhaustion).  I've slowly recopued this week, but I just won't know how I'm doing until my next 20 miler.  Today I saw my favorite tri-athelete bearded man who is always nice to me.  He looks like a really in-shape reformed hippy on a very expensive road bike.  It's a winning combination.   When I finished, I ran back to a favorite little sunny spot on the river and swam for a minute wth my dogs.  Lying on my back in the water, looking up at the sky, past the still-green cottonwoods, really filled me up.  I'm glad, because I've been running on empty for about a month and wondering how long until I felt alive again. 

9:37 ave.  Ran 12 w/Catherine up and down the Canyon.  She had like a stomach bug and so was ammenable to taking it slow.  That was ok with me given last weekends mental and physical meltdown. I just wanted to get it in the bank.  She didn't however want to go more than 12. So once we came home I ran another 4 on my trail.  Ran into a friend here in my neighborhood and had a conversation about how doing anything is better than nothing.  He kept appologising for running slow 9 m/m (and I was on miles 13-16 so didn't care by then).  I think men feel like if they are not good runners, or marathon runners, they won't run at all.  I'd rather see anyone, fat or slow speedwalking, or running slow that sitting in front of the tv watching a ball game.  I think the amount of TV you watch should be equal to the amount of time you spend outside.  But that's just me.  Anyway, I'm pleased that the whole 16 felt great.  I credit the dozen powdered sugar donettes I ate for dinner.

I drove out to Payson, met Marion & Kelly. We jogged over, met Smooth, Rad & Michelle. Michelle showed us how to crumple our number before pinning it to our shirt like the professional runners do.  She said they did it in college to keep it from catching the wind, and could save a whole second or two on time....Awesome.  I can use every second I can get, although I could really use about 10 minutes.  But hey.  The race course was really beautiful farmland, out toward the Oquirrah Mountains through pasture contry.  I ran 7:37/7:43 and then the Kellies past me (Pinked!).  I knew I was slowing to the 8's then.  Where the course turned South after 3 miles, I noted how far down the road the fastest runners were and how they were flying. Intead of feeling inspired to run faster, I got a little bummed.  I   I tried to pick it up a bit but only mustered 8:11/8:17.  Mile 4 had been slightly up hill with the sun rising directly into my face and eyes.  I could hardly see.  I was slow on mile 5 and only ran an 8:55.  I had to drink again ( I should have had more to drink the day before,  I was really dry).  Ran the last mile pretty strong at 8:30.  I had the course pretty much to myself those last 3 miles.  Everyone was either ahead of or behind me.  It was a solid effort--not my very best, but not bad.  I loved the finisher's corridor.  They had a nice big clock and half if the other Red Hot Pink Chick's were there cheering for me.  It felt great to be the 15th to finish.  Smooth, who thought she'd only muster 9's because of Saturday's race came in right behind me.  We came back to join the RHPC at the finish line and cheered Michelle as she crossed.  She looked so strong finishing. She had walked 3 of the miles fast, and still finished in an hour.  I was dissapointed at the awards ceremony to learn I hadn't really won 2nd place like my race card said I had at the finish. 1st and 2nd place winners got a Lady Liberty Silver dollar.  Someone in my division had mis registered (and beat me).  So they got the coin, and I got a lousy medal (although it was ingraved 3rd Place).  Nothing is worse than coming in second, except coming in third.  If I had known the prizes were those silver dollar coins I would have pushed harder.  I love coins.  Smooth got one and I was envious.  After the race, the whole stinky RHPC crew and their families went to Marion's to eat pancakes, sausage, eggs, and fruit.  Thanks Marion for sharing your BigAss Grill. Or is it Big Gas Grill?  Either way, those pankcakes and buttermilk syrup were killer.

Had some sore tendons and a tough time getting warmed up today.  I passed Marsha and totally forgot that today was Tuesday (we were supposed to run together).  Shoot.  I forgot about labor day.  I had such a great afternoon yesterday and relaxed to a degree that I forgot all about my first two commitments/appointments of the day.  Instead, I meandered down the trail feeling the coolness in the late summer air, noticing the number of dead leaves gathering on the trail, watching the cows watch me run while they chewed their cud, and listening to the waves crash on the lake shore.  I took it very easy and thought about the things I'd asked Michelle about yesterday: pushing beyond comfort level, interval training, tempo running, high miles vs. pure talent.  I take only a mild interest in actual training.  I put much of my true running experience behind me after high school X-Country-- mostly because I have enjoy the unadultered pleasure of "jogging".  But every once in a while I think I just ought to be a little bit better at it after having done it for so many years.  But that would require running uncomfortably 2-3 times a week.  I also would be angry if I became injured while running uncomfortably.  Last year at SGM when I literally thought I'd broken my hip during the race, the only thing I could think of was out there, hypothermic in the rain was:  And now I'm never going to run again because I got vain and wanted to qualify for Boston.  I wonder if bio-mechanically I can push my body beyond it's comfort zone in combination with higher weekly mileage without injury. So far, the only ones I've ever seen do this is Smooth and Sasha.  Who as we all know, are hardly mortal.

9:40/8:39/8:54/8:58/8:32/8:38/9:23/8:29/9:43/9:03

I guess I only have 3 gears:  Slow, quick-er, and a tiny bit faster than quick-er.  The effort to achieve quick-er is incredibly uncomfortable.  Unfortunately the difference between the gears is so negligible it's discouraging.  I ran quick-er for several intervals (up to a mile) which only resulted in a few moderate returns.  I started out running along the sides of the trail on the dirt, and then down the jetti to save some pounding for the first 3-4 miles.  I got some better times once I hit pavement again.  But at some points between 4-6 I was pushing 7:40's--but the average m/m were just so unimpressive that I stopped trying very hard.  Mile 8 was easy because I used the triangles (slow, fast, faster every three).  Using the triangles on the trail makes it easy to run faster because I know I'll get a break every fourth one.  Anyway, I did this kind of interval running for most of the10 miles which makes me feel good.  I just hope that after Saturday's long run, Monday's race, and today's 10, I can hack the 22 on Saturday.   I have to have a good 20 miler or mentally I'm trapped.  I just keep thining about the taper weeks afterwards.  Will I be ready, did I do enough?  Did I push hard enough? Will my hamstrings & piriformis cooperate? 

9:37/8:32/8:44/8:58/8:30/9:10 

Met Marsha early.  I thought it would be a 'recovery run' slow and easy.  But then she started telling me more about herself and her family. She has an insane Uncle, who I won't name, who is one of richest men in America (let alone Utah).  She has had personal and family trauma, and tales of overcoming that took my breath away.  Suddenly, running side by side in the dark, we were deep into the heart of road therapy.  Anyone who runs with me knows, that nothing thrills and inspires me more, than you telling me your family history.  I always assume everyone else in the world is normal particularly when they themselves appear unassuming, unaffected, and natural (as she does).  I was pleasantly surprised to learn that this quiet stay-at-home mother of 8, who I have seen off and on for years at soccer games, had a pretty serious personal story.  It was like finding gold. I always feel so liberated when people can verbalize to me how they learned to get by, and move ahead of their family history/self-destructive tendencies.  I have a deep honor and respect for those who have had to dig themselves out of the dirt (even if the dirt doesn't seem so dirty because of money, it's still dirt).  Her youngest is 12, and now Marsha is on the verge of reinventing herself at the age of 44.  Raising kids can be such an isolating, thankless job.  But she has great genes, she's strong, and she's ready.  She's never run (except track in high school) and has no idea how much running can give to her at this stage in her life.  And I get to come along for some of the ride.

I used to not run at all the Friday before a long run.  It did make a difference in my energy level for the next day.  I've been doing 4 on Fridays, but decided to cut it back even further to a short jaunt in the park to see if it will help me tomorrow.  I've got so much going on this weekend for work (starting this minute) and I'm a little worried about whether or not I've worked my way up to 22 since I completely ruined the 17 miler two weeks ago.  If I can just get to SG whole and somewhat prepared to avert total disaster at this point.

9:42 Ave.  Catherine, Smooth, RAD, Kelli, Scott, Mark, Mark's wife, and SMOOTH came to run a variety of distances in our own Provo Canyon.  Catherine, Rad and I took off a little ahead because those two girls had to be back early.  Those poor girls ran 7 10:00 minute miles with me (of course, they were up hill against gales of headwind, but never the less).  Thanks girls, Mommy needed her cane this morning. Further along, Cath turned around at 10 and I followed Kelli up the canyon till we hit 12, and then ran back down South Fork with her to  Vivians (8:57/8:46 etc).  Met up with Smooth so she could babysit me the rest of the run.  She told me all her secrets, efficient running form, recovery, tempo/interval training. She also told me how she got to be such an amazing person :) Another one straight out of the refiner's fire.  That lady, I tell you what....On mile 21 when I was trying to maintain 9:09 she would run a little ahead and say "Can't be tired at the finish! Gotta look good!  Dig it up from deep inside you--show me what you're made of!"  To which my mind went completely blank  "What am I made of Smooth?"  She turned around waving her arms in the air and said "Gold!Titanium!Diamonds!"  So that is my new mantra, I am made of titanium and diamonds!  She also assured me that the pain of running is only temporary, but pride lasts forever.  She said "no one ever died because of the pain of running".  I wanted to tell her a lady died of a heart attack at the Moab Half Marathon....but you get the point!  I will not die of pain!  I am made of titanium!  I have advised Smooth to begin her book and to hire herself out as a personal trainer.  P.S.  She comes with a gallon of chocolate milk.  Thanks girls (and boys) for the beautiful morning.  Goin' back to Kidney Kamp now that I'm showered.  I'll tell you what, skip the Gatorade for milk.  I feel 100% right now (stretching, walking, ice bathing too).  But I really think the milk was a great recovery tool.  Love you guys!

The most wonderful thing happened at Kidney Kamp. I just have to blog about it somewhere!  My daughter has a really good friend named Aubry at Kidney Kamp. A pretty young girl from Alpine who showed up to Kamp about 4 years ago because she lost her kidney function and had to go on dialysis.  The girls always swim and play raquetball and have fun the whole weekend together.  Although Aubry's13, she's the size of an 8 year old, but has a really sharp wit and a good attitude.  They look forward to seeing each other every year.  Aubry's whole family has been tested to see if they are a match for a kidney transplant but she's the only one in the family with her blood type.  So she's been on the waiting list for  4 years, doing dialysis 3 days a week.  My daughter, who is too young, has even asked me if she could possibly be considered as a donor.  But last night, her parents got a call from the pediatric transplant center and were told there would be a kidney ready for Aubry in 2 hours.  Tragically, a family lost a teenager in an accident in California on Friday, and that boy became the donor after his family made the decision.  It's such a heartbreaking choice. I can't even imagine what that would be like to make such a choice at the very moment you are loosing your child. But the generosity of that donor family in that critical moment will bless Aubry for her whole lifetime, and perhaps even ease some their tragic loss.  When we heard the news that Aubry was heading to Salt Lake to receive her new kidney the whole camp, of about 275 people went into applause and cheers.  All of the attendees either dialysis patients,  transplant patients,or kidney donors.  Before she left for the hospital, Aubry and my daughter hugged and looked at each other for a second. Aubry looked scared.  So my daughter looked at her and said "Next year at Kidney Kamp your new kidney will have probably made you taller than me!"  She said it with such confidence, conviction, and hope. I got choked up and could hardly look at Aubry's mother or the girls as they waved goodbye to each other.  Bless that donor family.   Aubry's at the U getting the transplant right this minute (1:00 p.m. Sunday).  I hope the transplant will be successful both for Aubry's sake, and for that of the family who lost thier son.  

This morning I woke up with zero pain in my lower back and hips.  It was a miracle after all I did this weekend.  Smooth taught me this little change in pelvis position during the last 2 miles of our run on Saturday, and since I have been very careful to hold that posture and think about it. It has been helpful not just to running, but my everyday sitting/walking too.  Those long runs become bainful toward the end, because I am holding, and pounding on bad hip positioning and posture.  It's such a small change, but  made a huge difference to my pain level and recovery. (Well, the chocolate milk really gets some credit).  I listened to music on my run, which was novel for me.  I got a new phone last week that has this feature called Slacker Radioon it.  It's kind of like Pandora.com and groups music you like in a never ending stream--like a personal DJ.  That was a fun discovery.  Acheiving negative splits was so easy today, I just felt better and better the more I ran.  I hated to quit.  But have to obey 'recovery' running if I want to keep pain/injury under control in the next 3 weeks before SG.

9:30/8:37/8:34/9:03/8:52 Ran again with Marsha.  It's nice to have someone to run in the dark with.  She assures me she gets up on her own at 5:30 so it's no problem.  She thinks running is hard, but she can churn out a few 8:30's no biggie.  Problem is, she thinks running long distances is boring. (She could be my new interval partner! She was a sprinter in high school).  At the end of the run she was getting tired and she said "I'll try to make it to the curb" which was about 300 yards down the road.  So I said "Let's sprint it!"  So I start running as fast as I could at a good pace.  She keeps running along side and says "oh, ok, I may not be able to sprint anymore, but I can stride".  Hey! I thought I was sprinting :( 

9:51/8:40/8:55/8:43/9:13/9:03/9:34/8:57/9:59/9:33

Man those splits do not reflect my effort.  I am too unfocused to do any regimented interval work without assistance.  So I use those triangles on the trail at every 1/16th and then make up random markers where there are none (that tree, where the road bends, to the shade).  Fartleking is about all I know how to do becaues it's less structured (unlike 440's, Yasso's, etc).  I ran one warm up mile, spent the second mile running, faster, fastest then recovery.  Lost the triangles on the lower part of the trail and so decided to run as fast as I could for as long as I could.  Then I tried picking up the pace wherever there was shade.  That only lasted another mile.  I thought I was going to die, huffing and vocalizing my efforts.  I tried to keep it down when others were on the trail... they might have thought I was having a heart attack.  I'm such a baby. I still feel like I'm going to fall asleep when I try to run fast, it's weird.  Then I tried to run a steady fast past, which took so much effort to focus on the pattern of my footfall and form--and then those two miles only turned out to be 9's.  Got back on the triangles and ran as hard as I could every other one, but was tired-- at least that mile was under 9.  My knee and glues hurt so I iced in the river.  Thankfully the water is much colder with that little bit snow water headed down the canyon.  Next time, I think I'll try striding quarter miles instead of 1/16ths.  I guess intervals/speed play is good for your heart/aerobic capacity but it is the most discouraging and frustrating thing I've tried yet.  It's hard. That said, I think I'm going down to the lower trail with a can of paint and mark out quarter miles so I can warm up with shorter bursts, and do the middle 4 miles of my work out on quarters.  I also need to learn to use my Garmin better, or switch to my Ironman watch for lap times on the days I do this.  I should have just tried to tempo run today--my times would have probably been better! 

The only thing inspiring about this run was shutting the door behind me to be bathed by the cool velvety blackness of a dense and starry sky.  The beauty and peace of the darkness was so intense as I began to run along, a deep breath was spontaneously pulled from my lungs.  I couldn't even see the outline of the mountaintops against the sky.  Eventually a tiny sliver moon, thin as a fingernail, rose just above the mountain line.  These cool, dry, clear, mild September sunrises fill my soul.  Soon will come the still, frigid mornings of winter and the crunch of fresh snow underfoot.  But not today.  Today dawned with the temperate, sweet, ripe satsifaction of a juicy autumn pear; which consequently I plucked and ate from my tree upon my return.

9:06/8:40/8:54/8:46/8:46--It was a pretty controlled run.  I just concentrated on getting it done.  Today is the 18th of September, Chile's Independance day.  Which at my house, means that I get to make alot of food today (empandas, pastel de choclo, brazo de reina con majar--in addition to throwing together my assistant's birthday cake--she asked me for peach cobbler).  Felt great to stretch out my legs and run long hard strong strides. Came back ready to cook up a storm.  P.S. got my new running skirt and I may never wear shorts again on a long run.  I LOVE it.  It fits my phone in a mesh pocket on the thigh hidden under the skirt so it doesn't bounce around.  I can take calls, listen to music, and call the police when they attack me.  Man I love that skirt.

I drove to Riverwoods and warmed up pretty slowly.  The first 4 miles, although up hill and against the wind, went pretty fast (I've got a lot on my mind I guess).  I was averaging 9:23's which sure beat last week's 10's.  Ran .5 past vivian park and decided I really like to run up hill. I have plenty of quad to spare, it's the hamstring/glutes I need to build and protect.  I got to mile 7 and hit stop for a second to breath.  I had run pretty well, and continuted to average 9:17's even up hill.  I wanted to really work the downhill, focus on form and speed and I was determined not to look at my garmin until the last waterfountain before the mouth of the canyon.  I wanted 5 good tempo miles.  So I hit it, focused downhill and did my best forward leaning, cross-country skiing' quick step.  The few times I lost concentration I began to slow down, but I could feel my hams and shins burn so I knew I was working.  I lost concentration again when two young men (around 16) drafted behind me for about half a mile.  They never talked, they just stayed on my tail.  It was making me crazy to have them behind me so I did let them pass because I was so close to the bathroom I'd been dreaming about for 2 miles.  So at the moment of triumph, when I looked to my Garmin to reveal that I'd run straight 8's for 5 miles I realized I never hit 'resume' at the top of the canyon.  Maybe it's better I not know so I can imagine that downhill I hit the 7:40's as I often do for a few miles at the beginning of a race.  I spent a lot of time on this run imagining getting the first 20 of St. George behind me and focusing my thoughts on the last 6.2.    You sure could tell how many people had been training for TOU today--it was a St. George or bust crowd today.  

I still can't get over the fact that someone took my bright yellow Payson Onion Days 10K shirt.  I left it at the waterfountain two Saturdays ago and it was gone when I returned 45 mintues later.  Who wanted such a hideous shirt?  What could it mean to anyone who didn't run that particular race?  So now the three times I've gone by that waterfountain I wonder about it.  Ah well.  Today my legs were absolutely dead. I kept thinking I'd warm up, but never did.  I realized by and by it wasn't my legs, but my lower back.  I know I'm getting all jacked up again over my piriformis/glutes.  I keep remebering how tapering last year at this time felt like my undoing.  As soon as I wasn't keeping 50 mile weeks, my muscles stopped holding all my injuries together by force, and I fell apart.  I know half of this is in my head.  I got over the last back trouble I had a few weeks ago, but it took two full weeks (post massage) for it to get better.  I may just have to call Natalee (MT) again before it gets too late in the game.  (6.4/9:43 ave)

My MT has a real day job now and couldn't come over yesterday, so I let everyone at home take turns digging their heels and elbows into my piriformis while I lay on the carpet.   I told them I'd let them watch an hour of TV if they helped me.  My son who thought it was 'gross' at first to touch my bum later enjoyed how much it made me squirm and he actually found the best places.  Poor kid, now he's scarred for life.  But, it totally worked. I have to remember to do my PT streches throughout the day. But today's run felt very good-- although a short run, I ran two 8:45's and a few 9's with Marsha, who thought that was pretty fast.  Nothing hurt or was sore during or after the run.  Yay!  Also, I keep forgetting to give the good news about our little friend Aubrie who was successfuly transplanted a week ago Sunday.  Here is a link to the story that ran on the front page of the Daily Herald last Sunday:   http://heraldextra.com/news/local/article_cd785174-226c-5a70-a415-7a3e23223cca.html

I had to run at lunchtime today. I went to a fantastic reunion/wedding reception attended by 65% of all my favorite people in Salt Lake yesteday, so I didn't get to bed until midnight.  MIDNIGHT!  Unless I'm watching Saturday Night Live, that just doesn't happen anymore.  I am usually a goner by 9:15.  So I was sleepy today. Trust me, you do not want me on your team when I get less than 8 hours of sleep--which is today. But I went out and gave it my all.  The effort actually made me cry involuntuntarily a few times.  I stopped twice and significantly slowed down at least 3 to catch my breath.  I wanted the run to be a sustained steady pace, but found it hard to maintain what I hoped to be 8:50's.  Ave pace 8:56 (how heartbreaking is that? .6 off).  8:52/8:55/8:31/8:43/8:52/9:13/8:59/9:31 (9:45)

It has become so dark in the mornings, that today I ran with a headlamp.  It totally works.  We've been running down the middle of Lakeshore and it's not smooth pavement and I am afraid of tripping and falling over in the dark.  Also, last time we almost kicked skunk as it crossed the dark road.  Skunks don't move very fast, they just raise their tail and keep on walking. We almost got sprayed. That would have been icky.  Thus the headlamp.  It will buy me a  few more weeks of non-treadmill A.M. running so I won't have to haul my treadmill inside until after SGM.  Everyone hates the treadmill but me.  I never have the time to watch movies or TV shows.  So standing in front of the TV for an hour or more is a huge indulgence. I already have 5 movies I want to see lined up next to the TV waiting for the first week of October.  In the meantime, I'll use the headlamp and keep to the road.  Although today I had to make a concerted effort to run slowly (9:30's) I do like running in the dark becaue I run a lot faster than normal and it doesn't seem as hard--like running in your sleep/dream running. Weird.  It is a strange sensation to to be in the dark, moving forward.  It heightens all other sensory perceptions--particularly the Jason Voorhees sensibility. Maybe that accounts for the fast running.

Today was the day I put away the Garmin for the sake of my mental health--which was the best decision I could make for today.  I had THE BEST run.  It was a beautiful morning, the running felt good, and 6.4 took less than an hour.  That's all I can say. Also, a word about compression tights and running skirts.  I fell in love recently with the running skirt with the pocket on the outer thigh of the inner shorts.  I loved the skirt so much I also got a race skirt that ostensibly holds your race number, but I love it because I can wear on top of the many unused compression tights.  I love compression tights of all lengths, but I am only brave enough to use them while on the treadmill (at home) or on the trail in winter when I know no one can see my big, fat, black spandexed behind.  Anyway, that little race skirt, has given new life to all my compression shorts.  What's funny, is that for a girl who talks too much & too loud, and who can not lay claim to a whole plethora of female charms-- I sure do like wearing a skirt.

I did not get around to eating enough on Friday and so felt like I was passing out half the run.  Poor Catherine, running with the starved/crazed elderly.  She's a good friend.  We're actually kind of excited just to get Saint George out of the way (how will the day go, our energy level, will our children give us the swine flu the day before?) Here's to no rain, temp's above the 30's, and no headwind this year. That said, we're both signing up for Ogden :)  That is if nothing breaks or falls off next Saturday.

Chilly, clear, beautiful fall day.  I overate yesterday due to fresh corn on the cob and dulce de leche cake--and also lack of self control from unintentionally starving myself on Friday.  I feel heavy and slow.  I am equally balanced right now between trying to clear my mind of preconceived notions about Saturday and visulizing myself getting to business on the course.  I do like to race and try to see what I can do, but I hate running in front of people.  Everyone loves big races for the 'energy' of racing 'for the croud'.  I must run too slow, because I can hear people's conversations and can feel their eyes and judgement about my flabby upper arms from eating too much cake on Sundays.  I am excited to see my California running friends and to have another St. George experience. 

I am having a hard time believing it will be 40 degrees tommorrow morning. I was pretty overheated wearing a long sleve t shirt today.  I'm not looking forward to the cold and am worried about how long it might take me to warm up on Saturday. I had a hard time warming up this morning, it took two good miles before I felt good. All I could think about was how I never 'warmed up' ever last SGM.  I hate all the psycho pre-marathon hypochondria.  I have to remind myself how happy I am I can run, and to have another few hours on my legs out in the desert canyons of Southern Utah.  I ran Utah Valley to make up for the terrible experience I had last year, but the truth is, I won't feel vindicated until I get to St. George and run the dang race again. I just want so much to have a 'good race,'one I can be proud of.  But running a good race takes me so much concentration and effort and I doubt myself. Hobble Creek was a very good race for me, the best I've ever run, but all I can think about is how I had just come back from vacation, happy, strong and well conditioned having run two full weeks on soft sand--and that more than half the course was downhill.  I want to believe I have it in me to be tough 26.2 miles, but digging deep for that long hurts and it's scary. Which I guess is why I want to conquer it.

Let's hear it for thunder and lightening!  I love it when the weather changes suddenly.  It's so exciting.  Last night the house shook and the windows rattled (a better light show is just one of the benefits of living close to the lake). It was thrilling.  After the lightning passed, I opened the window and sat in the dark to listen to the rain and the new rush of the river.  I am so ready for a change.  Not that I don't love summer, I just love fall more.  When I got out on to the trail this morning, it was still raining and the road was shiny black with rain.  There were fallen branches everywhere, and the river was swollen with muddy water.  The greens and yellows of the trees were intensified by the wet and softened daylight.  Everything was so poignant and lovely in its own dying.   The trail was deliciously lonely and as I ran along, I felt so ready to take on St. George.  It's easy to feel that way when I only have 3 miles to run.  I think it's the other 23.2 I'm sort of worried about....